I Hate the Word Budget (and Other Things That Will Slowly Kill Me)

I’m officially entering month 7 of my renovation nightmare. I frequently get anxiety attacks about the sheer volume of checks I’ve had to give people and the endless back and forth between me and Santiago. The conversations pretty much all sound like this:

S: Do you really need this?

A: Yes, I do.

S: Ok but it’s out of our budget.

A: I told you to stop saying that word to me.

S: Ok when we have no money left for furniture or to survive, don’t look at me.

I hate the word budget and I hate having one, but even Jeff Bezos has a budget at some point, right? I was inevitable that I’d feel this way because I have literally no idea what I’m doing. That’s why I hired Celia—ugh, she’s the best. She’s a designer and she has helped me from deciding what I like, to what I don’t like. She has placed every electrical socket in the right place, has picked the perfect height for my baseboards and has basically given me only 3 options for everything so I don’t feel overwhelmed.

But guess what? Everything is expensive and nothing is free. (Insert nervous laugh here). I have gone to meetings where she lays out the most beautiful pieces for me to look at. Floors I can walk on, tile I can touch. And every time—EVERY TIME I somehow pick the most expensive thing she offers. I always say “approved!” and leave her office so happy, and then I receive her invoice and I scream into a pillow.

S: Baby, I just got the invoice. Are you insane?

A: STOP CALLING ME CRAZY!

S: Adriana, you approved a $10,000 front door

A: How am I supposed to know that’s not an appropriate number, Santiago?

S: Nos vamos a quedar en la calle.

A: (sobbing uncontrollably)

7 months into my renovation means at least 7 months at my parents house. Obviously it’s been longer, we hit the 1 year mark and they didn’t even get us a cake to celebrate.

Anyways, between the conversations between me and Celia and then the ones between me and Santiago, the going back to Celia asking her for cheaper options, I think my brain is a fried egg and I also think I’m dying. But, I’ve found a way to sort of get out of the back and forth, even if it’s just for a short while…

A: Baby! I finalized the kitchen and bathroom cabinetry and it’s so beautiful you’re going to love it!

S: How much was it?

A: (walks out of room)

And that, my friends, is how you do that…

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