Red for Thought I’m Not Fat–I Just Had A Baby! – Red for Thought

I’m Not Fat–I Just Had A Baby!

Women are vain. I mean, obviously not all women, but most women. And you know what? It’s not our fault. It is society’s fault. But, regardless of who is to blame (everyone except ourselves, right?), I think we constantly deal with body issues. I know I do. I’ve struggled with this my whole life. Thankfully, my husband pretends not to care what size I am which is both a blessing and a curse. I could let myself go and he’d be happy, but on the other hand he’d be so happy he wouldn’t realize I weighed 800lbs.

First of all, people talk about our changing bodies during pregnancy in such a beautiful way that is seems like the most amazing thing on earth. Guess what? It’s not. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and not believing how much I was changing. And not even in a bad way, just like–I was growing a child. He was inside me and I was forming his nails and hair and it seemed so foreign to me. The weeks began to pass and I started growing at an alarming rate. My bellies weren’t hugeeeee but they were huge for me. My body wasn’t my own and while I was happy I was creating a safe environment for my baby, I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen after.

You’re pregnant and everyone fawns over you. They tell you you’re the prettiest and shove cake in your face because “you’re eating for two,” so you continue to inhale everything in sight. But guess what people don’t tell you? (Well, most people. If you have a good cuban mom I like do, she’ll remind you so you don’t let yourself go.) People don’t tell you that every pound that comes on must come off. And not just so that you’re healthy or skinny or cute, but because nothing will fit you once the baby is born. Also, no one tells you you’re going to look pregnant for a little bit after baby. Ok, just FYI your stomach doesn’t go flat once the baby arrives.

(this was my stomach 13 hours after having Antonio)

T H I S ! ! !

This was something I had a huge issue with after all three of my boys were born. It did not go away after each pregnancy and I hate that it’s something that bothered me. I was very adamant about not wanting to wear maternity clothes after having the baby because I wasn’t pregnant anymore (I know I’m so annoying) but I also didn’t want to buy big clothes for a short period of time. I didn’t want to fit into my “fat” clothes because then I may stay fat. These are all the things going on in my head as I tried to squeeze into a pair of boyfriend jeans at the hospital the night I got discharged with Santi. New moms should not be left alone to make their own decisions because our hormones are making fun of us.

And even though I knew it took me 9 months to have a baby and therefore I probably wouldn’t bounce back in 9 minutes, I really, really, really wanted to feel like myself again. Women go through so much to create human life. Our boobs get engorged, our bellies and asses double in size, our hair falls our, our skin gets crappier. Then the baby is born and no one sleeps. No one sleeps for month–it’s sooooooo freaking hard!!!! In the back of our minds is the constant need to tell people you just had a baby. I still do this. If I’m not with my baby, I tell people I just had one.

“Oh but you look great for just having had a baby!”

Well guess what Brenda, I don’t want to look good for just having had a baby. I want to look good. Period.

But alas, Antonio is 4 months and I still have a ways to go. I’m not bikini body ready and that’s OK. I’m healthy, I’m happy and my kids don’t know what being fat or skinny is. They just know I’m Mami and Santi thinks I’m a princess so…..yeah, I’m a pretty princess.

Having a baby changes your entire world, including your body. BUT, it’s super important to remember that your body needs time to heal and that your size does not determine your happiness. Get over yourself (I’m talking to myself guys) and relax. You can be bikini body ready next year.



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