Women. Yes, that’s right, we are. And I’m including myself in this narrative, because even though it’s not always with bad intentions, I play a role. But, OMG, we’re the worst. Why are we like this? Not everyone is judgmental, and it’s not every day or with everything, but we tend to be judgy. About relationships, marriage, children, birth plans, you name it. Obviously, I’ve most recently been reintroduced to this fact by the women I cross paths with everyday that find out that I’m pregnant. Again.
Judgemental Woman: Wait what? You’re pregnant?
JW: Isn’t your baby like, not even one?
JW: Was it planned?
Me: No, not really.
JW: Oh of course not. You’re done though, right?
Me: I mean, if you ask me now yes. But my husband wants four so we’ll see.
I mean, look..I get it, but I also don’t care what you think. Regardless if my life choices have been planned or not, they are my life choices. I don’t really need your negative energy in my space because, let’s face it–I have a lot going on. I’m pregnant again, remember? And really, the judgmental comments don’t start or end with pregnancy. I’ve received it from so many mediums… I get judged for using formula, for having help, for working, for wanting to be a stay at home mom, for making sure Santiago is a valid participant in fatherhood, etc… People are going to judge you for anything because it’s easier to judge someone than to just be happy for them.
Now guys, they don’t seem to give a crap about anything as long as they’re not involved. I love this! I imagine women frantically calling their spouses or boyfriends to tell them the news:
JW: BABE! Guess who is pregnant?
Guys: You? Please don’t say you
JW: No! Adriana! Wait why not me?
Can you tell how delusional I am? Ok, maybe these conversations didn’t really happen. Maybe I’m spiraling because I’ve been pregnant for 43 years. For the record, I’m not mad or upset at anyone in particular who has asked me if I’m pregnant or who has been surprised. Hell, I was the most surprised person on this planet and I helped conceive the baby! And no one judges me more than myself. Odds are if you are saying something about me, I’ve already said it to myself (twice). One of my best girlfriends is a mom in the thick of it like me and our self loathing is both comical and therapeutic–I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The day of my gender reveal I posted a simple photo of “It’s a boy” and I was immediately flooded with kind words and messages. But one, one judgmental woman (and mother by the way) spent time writing a comment that didn’t even have congratulations. It just said “Preggers otra vez” and then she put two of those super stupid emojis that are surprised. Now, I’m only talking about this here because she obviously doesn’t read my blog, because if she did she’d know that a) yes I’m pregnant and b) I don’t care what she thinks. Like I’m sorry, can you be supportive? Or get off my instagram? But anyways, she thought that would be appropriate. And it’s not. It left a sour taste in my mouth and now I can never like any of her photos ever again (cause I’m petty).